Profiling Tinder Profiles

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Profiling Tinder Profiles

This simple dating app is causing changes in human mating and dating behavior – almost like an apocalypse!


Known as a “hook up” app, Tinder appears to still be popular with people who are also genuinely looking for a relationship.


Or at least who claim to be looking for something genuine.


Having used “traditional online dating” websites, for sh*ts and giggles I decided to try Tinder to see what it’s like.


After swallowing the “red pill”, I entered a whole other universe in the online dating realm. It totally simplifies the process most dating websites require. All the personality questions, describing your interests, completing ‘ideal partner’ traits – gone. No more ‘foreplay’ if you will, as Tinder Profiles get straight to the point.


Tinder Profiles are essentially just recreating what you do in public – make quick snap judgments about people based on appearance, body language, clothing, and their current setting. Except almost everyone is single and actively seeking a partner so it’s more efficient. As a society we get immediate results (eg, ‘instant gratification’), and we’re blissfully unaware of the people that don’t want to talk to us.


Sean Rad, Tinder’s CEO, once said, “The irony of Tinder is that in some ways the lack of information, or text, is actually less superficial than having the information.”


Why Do People Use Tinder?

Tinder Profiles
On Tinder, the options are seemingly endless. Your dream person is just one of several million swipes away! And the inexplicably validating ego boost that comes with every “You have matched!” is not something to disregard.


After swiping through hundreds of Tinder profiles and having chatted to people who are on it, here are the main reasons why I think people use Tinder:


Plain and simple. Its reputation of being called a “hook up” app isn’t for nothing. Although A LOT of profiles say they’re not there for a hookup, I wonder what the actual stats are. I need to apply for a Federal Government grant to do a case study on this.


They Think All Hope Is Lost
Desperate times; desperate measures. Beggars can’t be choosers. I understand that. But puh-leaze… in a first, second, or even third conversation there’s no need to ask if someone’s ready to get hitched and have babies with you. That is just weird.


Ego Needs Feeding
These people are so unbelievably easy to spot. If they list an Instagram account, it means they’re just online to collect matches and hopefully bump up their follower level. It makes her feel special having such a range of potential guys and being able pick one of them, whenever she is in the mood to do so. Others are insecure and constantly need to measure their market value. Feeling desired is a huge turn on. The knowledge that she could have so many guys is satisfying in itself, she doesn’t necessarily need to date them.

Ego needs feeding?

I bet she requires that any man she dates has to tell her at least 12 times a day how good she looks to keep her ego fed.


Likes To Post Pics of Their Boobs/Penis/Butt
Like who hasn’t seen any of these before? There seriously are some people who should not be showing off, or even half-showing, some of their bits which should be covered. Or even if they are covered.


Social or Charity Causes
People are here to date, not donate. People don’t care to see pictures about bad policies or other issues going on that people should financially support in the world when someone just wants a fun night out with someone who’s sane.


Totally wrong app. Linked In (or some other) social media people. I think that easily half the people who claim to be “networking” are lying. Pure and simple.

Such a role model

And we wonder why today’s kids have no manners. Such a motherly role model.


Needy/Attention Seeker
They only post “sexy” pictures — they’re just looking for attention.
They only post “obscene” or stupid pictures — they’re just looking for attention.


Actually Looking for a Date
Credit to these people for being genuine and using another avenue to meet others. Some might be looking for fun dates; others for a few dates that could lead to a long-term serious relationship; others wanting a “sugar daddy/momma” relationship. This group can be divided into two subgroups: those that are confident in themselves and those that aren’t.


How do you spot them?


Common Tinder Profiles Pictures, What They Mean, Their Corresponding Psychological Profile(s)


Pictures of themselves with a drink:

It’s highly unlikely you’ll ever see me without a drink or without being slightly tipsy; I haven’t grown up yet; I need to be the life of the event.

Quite a number of people also qualify for the smaller, “every picture of themselves includes them having or holding a drink” subset, meaning they don’t know how to have any kind of fun unless alcohol is involved.

They Think All Hope Is Lost, Ego Needs Feeding, Actually Looking for a Date


Pictures of themselves with a friend:

I’m into playing games. This one is a guessing game. Figure out which one is me.

Ego Needs Feeding, Needy/Attention Seeker


Pictures of themselves with lots of friends:

Here’s a tip for the guessing game: the one you look at the most probably isn’t me.

Ego Needs Feeding, Needy/Attention Seeker

The Tinder Guessing Game

Aren’t you psychic? C’mon…guess which one is me. Probably not the one you find the most attractive.


Pictures of themselves from an unusual angle:

Probably the only angle from which they either look good or human.

Ego Needs Feeding, Needy/Attention Seeker, Actually Looking for a Date (but not confident)


Pictures of themselves from a significant distance:

They look good from afar but are far from good.

They Think All Hope Is Lost, Actually Looking for a Date (but not confident)


Pictures of themselves so close it was taken with an electron-microscope:

Close up!

I’m fairly confident there’s a reason why we see nothing below the neckline.

It’s the only miniscule part of their body they’re confident about.

They Think All Hope Is Lost, Actually Looking for a Date (but not confident)


Picture that highlights or only shows their chest or private areas:

Yeah, I’m probably not in this for a meaningful long-term relationship. But look at my chest and feed my ego along the way.

Ego Needs Feeding, Needy/Attention Seeker, Sex


Picture of them dressed in lingerie or revealing mostly everything:

Ditto, but let’s see how many people will swipe right before my profile gets reported.

Ego Needs Feeding, Needy/Attention Seeker, Sex


Do you see them?

Her only photo. They almost blend with the scenery they’re so far away. Now try to guess which one the profile belongs to.

There you have it. The complete psychological analysis and profiling to 95% of the Tinder profiles you’ll encounter. Like me, you don’t have to work for the FBI, have a college degree in Psychology, or be certified by any kind of government agency to figure those out.


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