Why Your Wife / Girlfriend Might Not Want Sex With You
Okay guys, here we go. Does this sound familiar with you at all?
- You’re in a fantastic relationship
- you help out around the house
- you’re supportive
- you’re ambitious
- financially stable and able to provide for your family
- have a great set of friends
- you’re still fun to be with
— almost everything you read about that women desire.
The only thing missing?
The great sexual relationship you once had with her.
There’s always plenty of jokes going around how marriage or entering a long term relationship with a woman is another form of birth control.
But you’re sure that can’t be it.
Even though a study emerged suggesting over 70 per cent of women are in pain or discomfort during sex
she never once mentioned pain or discomfort during the actual act, so you rule that out as a cause.
You’re sitting there concerned and confused not understanding why she isn’t interested in sex with you.
“My wife has lost her libido. How can we get it back?”
Maybe she hasn’t lost it; maybe she’s just sexually bored.
1. She’s not moving
2. She wants to stick to one position during sex.
3. She is completely more vocal than usual.
4. Or she doesn’t give any feedback.
There’s been a rash of studies on how women in long term relationships lose interest in sex faster than men:
It doesn’t mean you’re no longer her stallion; it just means that as her stallion take her for a ride that’s different from the last one.
Research shows women — far more than men — crave novelty in relationships
6. She asks, “Did you finish?” before you actually did.
7. She doesn’t want to strip down completely during sex.
8. You are watching something like “Fifty Shades of Grey” together and she comes out with a line similar to, “I wish my love life could be more like that”.
Be a fly on the wall with a few chardonnays into any girls’ night and you’re guaranteed to discover most women love and crave hot sex.
When women are alone and the boundaries are loosened, they readily share sex stories with similar fervor to any group of men.
It’s why women love date nights so much.
It’s why women devour erotica and the Fifty Shades Of Grey books.
While men thrive on consistency, key factors in the process of female arousal are newness, mystery and spontaneity.
Unfortunately, this isn’t something anyone learns in school. Men are essentially left to scrap together what knowledge they can from porn sites, where the orgasms are instantaneous and nobody ever requires foreplay.
“Horny” women aren’t the exception – they’re the norm.
It’s a fact women get hornier as they get older, because as their estrogen levels drop, that means proportionally their testosterone levels rise. As a result, most women simply won’t own up to the fact they crave sex for fear of “slut shaming”.
Vibrators continue to be one of the top-selling online products for women; lingerie brands don’t appear to be having any trouble getting women to part with their credit cards, even during a global financial or global pandemic crisis.
Don’t assume that she has “gone off sex” because she’s getting older, or because she just “isn’t that sexual”.
Open a dialogue. Find out if she was actually enjoying the sex that you were having in the first place, or whether it was actually always mediocre and just made okay by newness and desire to make you happy.
Women have a responsibility here too.
It’s lazy to accept unsatisfying sex, and it’s going to make you unhappy in the long term.
Saying the words “Actually, I didn’t have an orgasm” might seem nerve-wracking at the beginning of a relationship, but they’re a whole lot harder to say once you’ve been together for months or years. You know the first question your partner is going to ask is, “why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Finally, you two might be surprised:
- at what a few spontaneous date nights
- or trying something new together
- or asking her what she likes in bed
will do for her “lost” libido.
You might even discover that, it was never lost to begin with! Maybe you just needed to know where to look. 🙂