Challenged to dating outside your type
I met “Rebecca” online when my friends, who were thoroughly enjoying but sympathetic to my ridiculous dating experiences, suggested I try “dating outside your type; someone whom you normally wouldn’t go for.”
Rebecca and I dated 4 months after meeting on an online dating website. Since everyone knows what I’m looking for in a woman, what qualified Rebecca so I would be “dating outside your type” you may ask?
- she had short hair
- half her hair was colored pink
- she didn’t do much outdoors
- her mother was her best girlfriend
- she was a “party girl”, but had a “self-imposed” drinking ban
This blog entry recounts the final incident that made me break up with her. If I was smart, I would have broken up sooner, but then you’d have one less blog entry of mine to read. 🙂
Friday. It started with a …
One Friday night I was catching up with a group of friends at a local bar when Rebecca said she was going to swing by later for after work drinks with a few of her own friends and work colleagues.
She asked if I’d mind; of course not. It would be great.
When Rebecca and her posse arrived, she came by to say hello. I subsequently finished up my conversations and joined her.
Fast forward 30 minutes
It was our turn to buy a round of drinks for everyone. Myself, Rebecca, and one of her friends made our way to the bar. While waiting, Rebecca and her friend started talking with each other.
Seemingly ignoring me, they were looking around the place…
…asking each other who they would like to have a 3-some with.
Right in front of me, as if I didn’t exist.
That might be every man’s dream, but from their tones it didn’t sound like I was to be included.
So anyway, our drinks eventually arrived, and we returned to our table. It wasn’t too long after that when we were notified the place was closing and would have to leave. One of the guys at the table suggested we all walk over to his place for another round before parting ways. He lived right across the street, so why not?
She suddenly became very proud of her perky breasts, and removed her clothing for everyone to view them in their glory.
His place was nice with a lot of open space. We settled in the main living area which had a lounge, a few chairs, soft rug, and big screen tv playing music videos softly, mostly for background noise.
Rebecca & I sat in the corner of an L-shaped lounge in his apartment. Another couple sat at one end; some single dude on the other. Everyone else scattered around the room.
Now let the roller-coaster ride begin
About 10 minutes in, Rebecca left me, and went to cuddle up with the single guy at the end of the couch.
I was taken aback! She didn’t say a word. Just got up, moved over, and cuddled up to him.
Shortly after, a music video came on the tv that caught her attention.
She left the couch, got down on her hands & knees in front of the tv, and exclaimed to everyone how she’d like to have sex with the dude that was front and center in the video while provocatively rocking back and forth.
Yes, I was still in the room.
Fast forward a short time later. The video ended, and Rebecca suddenly became very proud of her breasts.
So much so she made a point to stand up in the middle of the room, announce how perky they are for her age, and then preceded to expose one, then the other, for all the friends and work colleagues to see.
By this time, I had had enough. I quietly got up from my position on the couch, went to the bathroom, and prepared to leave.
Low and behold, while I was in the bathroom, apparently Rebecca allowed some people to touch and taste her breasts.
The gent who owned the place ended things, and both he and I waited out front for a cab to take Rebecca home before I left.
I went to Rebecca’s apartment to talk about what happened Friday night. I basically explained her behavior was disappointing, was not classy in the least, is not representative to the kind of relationship we agreed to, and is not what I want in a future wife. I said I was just putting my feelings out there, and not expecting a response from her today.
She appeared to take it in stride, but didn’t offer much feedback. Not even an apology. I left, giving her time and space.
I received a call from her mid-morning asking if I could come over to discuss what had happened Friday.
At this point what would you expect?
Me? I was hoping for, and wanting, an apology.
Instead, she sat me down. When I was comfortable, she then went into a lengthy diatribe.
She said she talked with:
- her mom
- her aunt
- her friends
- and her work colleagues
who were there! Apparently, nobody thought her actions, behavior, or exposing herself was out of line.
I was gobsmacked!
Would I really want to pursue a serious relationship with someone who thinks this is ok?
Or who checks with their mom to see if it’s ok?
Tactfully, I reversed the scenario and asked her how she would have felt if I started getting it on with another woman and let her give me a blow job in front of everyone.
We reconciled, but deep down I honestly didn’t have any faith (because of numerous previous incidents we had that aren’t discussed here), and left.
Sunday night she called me again asking if I could come over.
She was a little tipsy as she had been out with other people, drinking, telling the tale, and looking for feedback. She said it hurt that I just seemingly brushed it off and didn’t talk about it the night before.
Ummm… I had to remind her I said I wasn’t expecting a response, and she didn’t offer anything up at the time, so don’t know what we could have discussed further.
Anyway, Sunday afternoon she was out “with a friend” who bought a $200 vintage bottle. She said she wants a guy to go out and do that with so she feels special.
I asked her, “So it’s about money? The hundred dollars we spent just a few nights ago together on cocktails and tasting plates wasn’t expensive enough? Or do you just want a regular sugar daddy on the side?”
Needless to say, I broke up with her a few minutes later because I learned what she needed: this woman, aged 40 at the time, was more used to and into partying with 25 year-olds, having lots of late nights getting drunk, and doing all sorts of stupid stuff.
I simply walked out the door, ignoring her yelling at me. It got her more upset when I didn’t respond; I knew it would, but didn’t care. I was done.
Several months later, I attended my workplace Christmas party. A lady who had just joined the company brought along her boyfriend. She went to introduce me to him.
We said we already know each other.
Her: “How do you two guys know each other?”
Me: “Through Rebecca.”
Her: “Rebecca? You’re friends with Rebecca?”
Me: “Not anymore.”
‘nuf said. 🙂
While it turned out to be a messy relationship, I am grateful for the experience in that I learned there’s a reason I have a “type” and am no longer dating women outside my type.
Most importantly, if a woman has a “self-imposed” drinking ban, that’s a warning sign that shouldn’t be ignored.
What about you? Have you ever tried “dating outside your type”?
Let me know what happened in the comments below!