Possibly why you’re single ladies

Do you believe in the pearl earring theory?

These are in addition to reasons I outlined in my Why Are You Single post.

However, it now appears there is such commonality about wearing certain items too that put men off. And it’s 99% why you’re single.

What are those items?

To start, pearl earrings. Some say men are terrified of them. Not actually scared of pearls themselves, but what they say about the potential love interest wearing them. Apparently they are walking red flags for potential suitors.

Let’s break this down.

Pearl earrings, while most look nice, give off “high maintenance vibes” or “self absorption”. It’s not the way you want to be ‘vibing’ ladies. Whether young or old, if you’re wearing these, you are signaling to men you require a lot of time, attention, and resources from others.

Are you flossing your cheeks?

What goes with pearl earrings?

Yup, you got it: Pearl necklaces.

There’s the old saying… “A girl who likes pearl earrings probably likes pearl necklaces too. She likely thinks that the world is her oyster.”

Grandma vibes

If you’re wearing a pearl necklace actually made of pearls (eg, not the sexual kind of pearl necklace), you give off “grandma vibes” in addition to “high maintenance”.

No woman considered hip/happening/exciting/young-at-heart wears pearl necklaces. If you need more evidence, just go to any nightclub, comedy club, sporting event, pool/beach, dog park, cafe, national park, outdoor activity. Compare against women seen at restaurants, birthday parties, bingo clubs, funeral parlors. Enough said?

Whether or not this is the beginning of a “pearl panic” is yet to be seen.

However, the “pearl earring theory” is a thing.

Personally, I’m more put off by the “sausage lip theory”: if your lips look like a couple of hot dogs, I’m out. Absolutely. Let’s be frank… they’re the wurst.

Who wants to kiss lips that look like a used tire when together? A lot of men don’t.

Anyway, since a number of dating blogs written by women are constantly trying to find excuses as to why men don’t want them, let’s delve into other styles/accessories that put men off.

What else sends men running for cover?

Can’t even hold keys. What’s the point?

• Insanely long nails.

  – You can’t type on a keyboard.

  – You can’t or won’t get your hands dirty.

  – When you’re on your phone it’s like clicky click clack uuuuuuuugh.

• Tiny bags.

  – If it’s so small that car keys won’t fit, what’s the point?

• Lanyards for their phone

  – Men instantly think you’re a little careless and used to losing things.

• A necklace with your name.

  – It irks men. I feel it’s slightly unsafe and similar to when guys have tattoos on themselves with their name. Why does anyone need to wear their own name?

• Common put off across all generations of men is excessive amounts of rings and gold, gaudy jewellery.

  – Do you have 20 earrings in each lobe that look like they were installed using a rivet gun?

  – Wearing that much bling is ridiculous. Are you an attention seeker? Someone who’s trying to say you’re doing better than everyone else? It’s analogous to rednecks who have lots of broken down cars and junk in their front yard.



Why does anyone need to wear their name?

• Since we’re on jewellery, let’s mention nose rings.

  – They make men think of cows or horses. Meaning, women (or anyone) who wear such fashion attire are easily led. And if you’re easily led, men will get bored with you faster than melting butter with a blowtorch.

• bikinis that are essentially floss

  – Do you have any taste or class?

• Full sleeve arm or leg tattoos

  – Women generally have beautiful skin. Why hide it? I know I speak for a lot of men when I say the last thing I want to see staring me in the face while holding a woman’s legs up or down in the middle of some sexual fun is a fantasy creature or divine face/symbol.

   

  I wouldn’t even consider kissing around that area knowing my lips are going to be kissing said creature/symbol. It’s like I’m swearing fealty to it. So no thank you.

What are your thoughts on why you’re single?