Dating Women and Dating Games, Part 10 3

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Dating Women and Dating Games, Part 10

Given the horrendous experience from my last posting (, here’s a story that’s definitely not as graphic.

Or as crazy.

I’ll call this story, “No capacity for anything further”.


It started one Saturday night in August.

I flew into Melbourne to spend a week at one of Australia’s snow resorts with a few friends of mine:


That night, I met “Sandra” with whom I had been communicating with for a while by phone and email.

We spent 3 wonderful hours together that night along with 2 friends of hers out on the town. Alas, I had to be on a bus heading for the slopes at 5am, so we parted ways around midnight. We made plans to catch up the following weekend when I returned from the slopes (
A kiss where nothing else exists


The WOW factor

Before seeing her off, we kissed each other with one of those kisses where nothing else in the world exists.

On the way back to my room, I was in such a “Wow” state of mind I even called my parents saying I think I finally found the girl for me.

Fast forward a week when our time in the snow was done. I was both anxious and excited to see Sandra again. I wasn’t the only one. Sandra was waiting for me at the designated time/location. She met my friends before we went off to have another fabulous day together.

Again, even though I had to return to Perth, we immediately made plans to see each other in September. Does that sound like someone who’s keen?


September couldn’t roll around fast enough!

I arrived on a Friday afternoon and met her at her place of work. We had a fun-filled night doing things like shopping together, eating at her favorite Chinese restaurant, and seeing a movie.

Saturday I thought things were even better. After having slept in, we shared a lazy breakfast, went to Museum exhibitions, food shopping and cooking dinner together, and watching a DVD.


Progressing the relationship: meeting her friends

Sunday we were up early, but Melbourne was having one of its typical “four seasons in a day” weather. We were to catch up with 2 more of her friends for lunch. After Friday and Saturday, we decided to just chillax until her friends arrived.

When they did, on our way out to meet them, she gave me a playful smack on my butt-cheeks.
After being introduced to her friends, we took our seats in the back of their car.


In the car, something changed

Up until this point we had been your typical new couple behavior – kissing, holding hands, being playful with each other.

As soon as we buckled up in the car I felt a brick wall go up between us.

Like seriously, complete brick wall.

When we arrived in the city she didn’t want to walk next to me or even hold my hand. In fact, she held onto her friend’s arm (both her friends were nice ladies).

While eating, she hardly said a word to me, or even made eye contact.

On the way back to the car we were walking behind her two friends. She seemingly sped up to walk next to them and leave me behind.


Then we arrived back at her place

As soon as we were through her front door and it closed, I received a talk: “there’s no capacity for anything further between us”.

My first thoughts were who uses the phrase “no capacity”? No potential, no chemistry, and so on. But who uses “capacity”?! That sounds more like business talk.

Anyway, obviously I was wrong in thinking, hoping, where things would go. How does it go from kissing/hand holding/being playful with each other to suddenly having “no capacity” within the span of 3 hours?

Even though I had one of my amazing dates with her, I felt humiliated and defeated, trying to move on yet again.

How I felt after this episode

How alone I felt after this episode.


To rub salt in the wound

A little while later as I was watching tv, minding my own business, reeling from the disappointment, Sandra came to talk to me, and made the proposition:


“just because I don’t think there’s no capacity for anything further doesn’t mean I don’t want to screw your brains out.”



That’s nice.

But not what I’m looking for.


What’s the Conclusion?

This is a strange scenario to which over a dozen different lady friends of mine have given over a dozen different explanations, everything from “she just wanted to hook up” to “she got what she wanted and was scared by it”.

What are your thoughts?


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