Dating is certainly adventurous, especially when meeting potential partners online. Let me make a slight change to the Forrest Gump quote: “[Online Dating] is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
Although I’ve been teased this can apply to dating women too with the way my luck has been.
We’re going to move from the woman who claimed she wasn’t into playing games (http://blogs.davelozinski.com/dating/dating-women-dating-games-part-11) to another woman told me:
“I’m getting strange vibes from you now”
A few years ago this was a more typical scenario. “Bianca” sent me a kiss from the website RSVP.com.au expressing her interest. I was single, and as such, I had a profile there being interested in dating women.
After exchanging a few emails, we took it to the “next level” by adding each other as friends on Facebook.
Oooooooo… big scary step. Progressing the potential relationship before having met.
Anyway, this was done with the intention of meeting because I’m not interested in just upping someone’s “friend count”.
Lunch it is!
We set a time and date to get together in early December over lunch.
3 hours before (does this sound familiar?) she texts me to say she’s not feeling well and is going to the hospital.
Fair enough.
I saw later she had updated her Facebook status to include this, and didn’t think much of it.
Thankfully, she was in and out, went back for a few tests, everything checked out fine.
Where’s the courtesy?
I sent a few messages asking how she was doing, but 4 weeks go by and not a word from her. Facebook was telling a different story. She was constantly in my news feed: going out with friends, attending functions/parties, and so on.
To me, that says she’s not interested in meeting, so I removed her as a Facebook “friend”.
Am I out of line here? If you cancel on someone, what do you think you should do? Reschedule? Or at least keep in communication until you can reschedule?
That’s what I think.
My Defriending Got Her Attention
A week later I received a friend request from her. I accepted, sending her a message explaining how I felt — that not making any effort to respond to my messages says, “not interested”, even in friendship.
Bianca responded back that she thought the same thing of me as well.
What the?!
She cancelled the date.
She didn’t respond to any of my follow up messages.
She made no obvious effort to contact me.
Now she was apparently turning this back on me.
At least I had my holiday cheer on.
Insert Eye Roll
I didn’t bite at her remarks because I was waiting for…
… bingo …
…she mentioned about maybe catching up in the new year.
Putting It Back On Her
I responded that I’ll be looking forward to catching up in the new year, thinking it would be a lot of fun!
I listed a few days I’d be free and concluded by saying I’m leaving the ball in her court to let me know when she’ll have some time since she’s really busy with everything that she had going on (Xmas parties, New Year’s celebrations, family visits, etc).
Nothing wrong with that, right?
Bianca Responded
She said she’s “getting a weird vibe from me now.”
I thought my message was kosher. I was genuinely interested.
I never heard anything further.
I gave her a week before defriending her on Facebook.
Again.
Your Turn!
What do you think of the way I handled things with Bianca?