Tips for Attracting Quality Men Online, Part 02 18


Tips for Attracting Quality Men Online, Part 02

 

This article continues my tips for attracting quality men online. Part 01 can be found here if you missed it: http://blogs.davelozinski.com/relationships/tips-for-attracting-quality-men-online-part01

 

Thus far we’ve discussed profile names and various tips for improving the photos you post. Specifically what to do and what not to do.

 

Now we’ll get more into what you should and shouldn’t write in your actual profile wording.

 

Men Like Profile Brevity, Not Novels

When it comes to the actual words in your profile, don’t write a book, or even a complete mini series, but have at least 5 complete statements talking about yourself.

 

That means you should…

 

Forget the, “Ask and I will tell”.

Women obviously do not understand how badly that single statement reflects upon them.

 

1) it screams you’re already too much effort, too lazy, and uninteresting all rolled into one.

– Think about it. No man has any of those on his “ideal partner’s traits” list.

2) it’s totally redundant.

– Someone who’s reading an online profile and wants to know more about you will ask.

3) it’s annoying.

– Ladies, would you feel compelled to take the time and spend the money to write a man who can’t say anything more than just, “ask me”? If you come across a profile like that and immediately think you already have something in common, well… I can only shake my head and say go for it because you were meant for each other. But if not, I rest my case.

Tips For Attracting Quality Men Online_02

Hopefully my advice will lead you to your own happily-ever-after ending too. 🙂

 

Stop the, “I’ve never done this before.”

We roll our eyes.

 

Like WAT-EVA girl.

 

Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption said it best: “Of course you’re innocent. So is everyone in here. Nobody’s done it.”

 

These are also killing your chances!

What Else Women Write

What Men Think When Reading It

“My friend(s) told me to do this”

Indicates you have no mind of your own.

“My friend(s) wrote this”

You’re incapable of writing or owning up to your profile.

“I’m new to this”

Probably not true. Who wants a relationship with someone who can’t be honest?

“Thought I might give this a go”

As above with an element of desperation.

 

Internet dating is a legitimate and great way to meet people. The above excuses are not required.

 

Use proper capitalization and punctuation.

Take pride in what you write. If you’re too lazy to spell check, use proper grammar, or have a friend proof-read what you’ve written, it tells us you’ll put even less effort into a serious relationship.

 

That’s how you attract men who don’t want one.

 

Spelling is an indicator of intelligence, or lack thereof.

Not demonstrating intelligence in your profile will turn off men who are. What’s totally mind-boggling is the number profiles I come across who are in their 20s, 30s, and even their 40s still don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”, “whose” and “who’s”, and “their”, “there”, and “they’re”.

 

What a turn off!

 

Personally I’d be embarrassed to be with such a woman whose native language is English and lacks the basic fundamentals of the English language.

 

Don’t Tell Us About Your Looks

It’s totally redundant to mention any sort of description concerning your looks that we can determine for ourselves from your photos.

 

Reverse the scenario. What do women generally think about a guy who only talks about his job or how much money he earns?

 

Focusing on your looks will attract people who want you just for your looks. Yes, men want women who are attractive, but we also want women who are confident enough to be measured by their actions in life.

 

Keep the profiles upbeat

Men are not looking for therapy clients. But don’t paint a utopian picture either because then it feels like it’s contrived.

 

It’s actually nice to see women list some common clichés as interests so you do come across as somewhat normal and down-to-earth. For example, weekends away or hiking through the forest.

 

Watch out though! Listing too many clichés is equivalent to telling us you like to breathe:
B-O-R-I-N-G-!

 

It also doesn’t set you apart from the competition. What makes you special?

 

Be HONEST!

  • if you look like Homer Simpson, you should not list your body type as “fit” or “athletic”.
  • if you only write or converse using sms-txt language, you should not list your educational level as any higher than primary school.
  • if you are divorced, it does not matter if it has been 2 months or 20 years. You have been previously married, thus you are not and should not select “single” if there is a relationship status option of “divorced”. You are divorced and have that stigma. If you don’t like it, then do as Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones said, “If they want to give you a name, take it. Make it your own. Then they can’t hurt you with it anymore.”
  • your “online age” is not inversely proportional to your “biological age”. I met one lady whose profile listed her age as 35, but when we met and I started questioning her, she finally came clean and said she was actually 40 but purposely listed her age as 35 so she wouldn’t be stalked. Really? Stalked on a dating website over your age? Let me take a moment to roll my eyes again…

 

More Tips For Attracting Quality Men Online

Follow these tips and hopefully you’ll have success too. 🙂

 

Avoid the poor-pity-me comments

The kind like, “I’m tired of all the losers I meet in bars.” Again, good men are not searching for therapy clients.

 

My personal favorites? “I’m newly single,” and “just out of a relationship”. Oh great. So you’re looking for rebound candidates?

 

Let me take a moment to roll my eyes yet again…

 

NEXT.

 

Actually be emotionally and physically available

That sounds so cliché, but it’s so not always the case. Read this story about Kathy as a prime example: http://blogs.davelozinski.com/dating/dating-women-and-the-dating-games-women-play

 

Take The Initiative Too

In the online dating world ladies, you are allowed to contact us as well by sending us a “kiss”, “wink”, “flirt”, or whatever. However, if you initiate contact and the man responds positively, proper etiquette dictates YOU are the one to send the initial email.

 

Sending the initial intro and then expecting the man to pay to write you is akin to telling a man you fancy him, and then expecting him to buy you dinner.

 

Quality men aren’t sugar-daddies, nor want women who expect them to be.

 

How old are you? Show Some Class

Do not say you want an email if you do not intend to follow it up. Unless it’s offensive or vulgar, you should always respond to messages if you’re on a dating site where it costs money to contact people. Someone who spends money to contact you deserves a reply, even if it’s just to say you’ve met someone else.

 

The Last Bit Of Enlightenment

The degree to which you’re entitled to an explanation is completely dependent on how long you went out.
Let’s say you’re corresponding with a great guy online, meet in person, and never hear from him again. Yes, he should be courteous enough to say, “thanks, but no thanks.”

 

However, I want to enlighten all women who think they are entitled to a communiqué also telling them the reason he is not interested in seeing them again.

 

The degree to which you’re entitled to an explanation is completely dependent on how long you went out.

 

If you dated for two years, that is clearly an in-person break-up. If you have a single dinner date, do you really want him to write you a message detailing exactly which parts of your personality he didn’t like?

 

That is not what quality men, or women, do.

 

Therefore, to alleviate all future confusion, I propose this quick guide:

# Dates

Acceptable  Breakup Explanation Level

1 – 3 dates

No explanation needed

4 – 7 dates

Short sms-text, email, or call is acceptable

8+ dates

Face to face

 

In Conclusion

I hope these were informative and helpful ladies. As always feel free to write and let me know what you think.

 

If they result in any success stories (even if it’s not with me 😉 ), everyone would love to read about it, so please post.

 

Now get out there and go get’em! 🙂