Mood Killers 7

Mood Killers

I was out catching up with some lady friends recently when the conversation, not unexpectedly, turned to sex.

I’m all up for some good discussions, debates, and insightful views on the topic. And guys: listening to women talk about sex is a great way to learn what women want sexually.

Anyway, one of the ladies talked about an experience which started out really well, but ended up on the not-so-great list after going downhill. Apparently his interest in having sex with her diminished faster than the rate the U.S. budget deficit is increasing under Obama.


The Round Table Ensued

Can you imagine the question/answer/what’s-wrong-with-men round-table discussion?

“Oh my gawd!”
“What happened?”
“Oh no he didn’t!”

As the women were wondering what’s wrong with the guy, it finally came out, and I had to point out, what *she* did.

Before I do…


About A Man’s Desire

When it comes to intimacy, correct me if I’m wrong ladies, but I believe women often think there isn’t much that can destroy a man’s desire, especially when the woman he’s about to get some lovin’ from is a woman he is absolutely crazy about.

Generally that’s true.

About a man's desire

When a woman we want also indicates back that she wants us too — we go from zero to whoa instantaneously.

As a man I can say with confidence that we like having lots of sex with a woman we are crazy for.

Ladies take note: one of the biggest, if not THE biggest way to exponentially increase how much we’re turned on is, quite simply, to just be in the mood and be expressive about it in a feminine way. It’s an explosive aphrodisiac. When a woman we want also indicates back that she wants us too — we go from zero to whoa instantaneously.


How She Killed It

However, what this lady did, unfortunately, is one of the biggest show-stopping mood killers. It will more often than not just as instantaneously reverse a man’s desire from whoa to zero.

What did she do?

She asked him one simple question: “What are you thinking?”



Ladies, if you want, or even hope, to be intimate with any man you should never, ever, utter those words (or anything which even remotely sounds familiar) at any time immediately prior to, or during, intimate activities.

If anything, you should appreciate that all of our focus is only on you – the complete center of the universe.


Why, “what are you thinking” is a turn off

When men are in an intimate situation, we are relishing on all the things we want to do to her, with her, for her; not the emotions attached to it. Our actions should speak volumes about the current state of emotions we’re feeling and experiencing. We certainly aren’t keen to talk about our emotions in general, let alone talk about them in the heat of the moment!

Woman Walking Home Alone

Any of these mood killers could see you going home. Alone.


Other “in the heat of the moment” mood killers:

  • Any uninitiated talk about exes is a total buzz kill.

We don’t care, we don’t want to know, and it’s not lady like, which leads to…


  • Lack of femininity in a woman is a big turnoff.

Don’t think you can hold men to account for not leading and taking control without us holding you to the feminine ideal.


  • Continuously pointing out your flaws that are either:
    1. a total fabrication in your mind or
    2. that we obviously don’t care about if we’re desiring to get, or are already, naked with you.

    Women generally don’t like men who belittle themselves; the exact opposite holds true as well.


  • Lying there like a starfish.

Some women are all bright and bubbly, which is great! Then, once their clothes are off, they turn into a mannequin. That’s ok on the rare occasion we’ll wake you up from a dead sleep. But otherwise? If you are that sexually naive you need to watch some porn, read some explicit how-to books, or simply read some stories of mine.


  • Not being able to ignore your phone.

We want to make love to you, not your phone. Unless we know beforehand that you’re expecting an important call when we start something spontaneously, if you can’t detach from your phone and “live in the moment”, then as we’re getting our rocks off with you we’ll be thinking about hooking up with other women who will give us their total focus too.


  • Being overly attentive in bed.

“Is this position OK? Did you like that? Do you like this? Do you need some water? Do you want it harder?” Then there’s the classic, “Is this good for you?” (like who’s going to say no in the middle of sex?!) Don’t get me wrong ladies…it’s great you’re focused on our pleasure. Too many questions though are distractions and will be received as annoyances. You should be able to gauge the answers to most questions from our reactions. If not, save them until after the deed when we’re more willing to have an intellectual discussion on the topic.


  • Women who seem to be waiting for the “experience” to be over rather than actually interested in the consensual sexual experience they are about to engage in.

This has the snowball effect of making us men not care about pleasing you since you’re not interested; then you become even less happy you’re not satisfied to which we shrug our shoulders because we felt no inspiration. Round and round it goes.


What are your mood killers?

Everyone’s different. So what are mood killers for you?



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  • Emma G

    Who in their right mind asks questions like “what are you thinking?” during coitus! Unless of course the person is asking for verbal stimuli, like “I’m going to make you orgasm baby with the flick of my tongue”. If in fact she was looking for “I’m thinking about my taxes” or “I’m trying to not think about one of my many ex’s” then that is just disturbing. But whatever floats your boat!

    Let’s face it, before you go shagging someone whether they are friends with benefits or potential long term partners you don’t just jump into the sack with them. There has to be some connection through conversation (one would hope that the verbal flirting alluded to your bedroom likes and exaggerated skills). If however it is just a drunken one night stand you’re better off just keep your mouth shut (in keeping with the mysteriousness of it all) and enjoy the ride. Then do the walk of shame when you’re done or point them in the direction of the door and maybe explain where the public transport can be found. 🙂

    So was your friend looking for a bit of dirty talk by asking “what are you thinking?” or was she actually expecting some deep and meaningful conversation?

    Anyway back to answering your question Mr Lozinski, here are some mood killers (for me at least):

    1. Always being the initiator, as a woman this is a huge mood killer. If the woman is always initiating the fun there is something wrong. The excuse that one has a more domineering personality than the other doesn’t float.

    2. The guy who makes you feel like you are one of the guys – mood killer.

    It doesn’t matter whether a woman is dressed in doc martins and jeans or some flowery summer dress with what equates to war paint plastered all over her face. IF you love her you treat her like she is the most feminine thing on this earth. Just because she dresses more masculine than you do doesn’t mean she’s any less feminine than all the primped up princesses. Just means she’s probably less likely to be looking at your financial worth and is probably far more confident with her body than the woman that “continuously points out flaws”. If you haven’t worked it out yet – confident women are less likely to play starfish, unless they’re timing you with the bedside clock.

    3. The Conversationalist, he’s the guy who likes to have a conversation about everything he’s doing to you “how do you like that baby” “does that get you hot” “oh yeah baby ride me like that” “Baby I’m going to rock your world”. Seriously guys if you’re enjoying it, just shut up, we aren’t starring in some epic porno (unless you are secretly filming it).

    Although, if your girl likes you to talk like a B Grade porn star then go for it. It is probably best if you find out if she likes that before you do it and make a fool of yourself because she WILL tell her girl friends and/or boy friends. As Dave has pointed out, girls do talk about sex and their experiences (probably more than you’ll ever know).

    4. Mr Slap, he’s the guy who thinks slapping your thigh is a turn on, because he has no idea what “spanking” really is. Lame. This is a mood killer, if you don’t know how to spank someone then just don’t do it.

    5. Tiny, he’s the guy who really does have a small penis and is hung up on that fact AND feels that because he can’t “touch the sides” that the alternative is to stick his cock up girls’ bums. (BTW guys after a woman has given birth you’ll probably never touch the sides ever again! And if you do it is because the woman has worked hard at strengthening those muscles back into not quite what they were before, you should be thanking her for being so amazing!)

    Now there are some women who actually like it, I’m yet to meet one that does, I probably have but they weren’t game enough to say it out loud. However, since it seems to be mentioned a fair bit in the filthy “romance” books I’ve read lately, I have to assume that some women enjoy it. So men/boys if you have one of those women on your arm cherish her, because if one tells you she isn’t even remotely interested in it you’ll never get to do it. So constantly talking about it is a HUGE mood killer, if not relationship killer. Really have you seen and/or smelt what comes out of your bum, it is no different to what comes out of a girls bum AND it sure as shit isn’t roses my friend! Mood KILLER! :p

    6. Mr Brag, the guy who likes to feel big by asking how many times he’s made you orgasm. Seriously sunshine if you have to ask the answer is ZERO! A never to repeat Mood Killer!

    7. The La-Z-Boy, he’s either lying on his back or sitting in a chair, EVERYTIME you get it on. While women do like to be on top, it shouldn’t be every single time, variety is the spice of life. The karma sutra comes with pictures and instructions, try something new it won’t kill you (unless have some unknown heart condition?). If anything it will turn out to be a comedic act and bring you closer together. But La-Z-Boy’s are mood killers! 🙂

    8. Mr Missionary, he’s the one you start to time with the clock sitting on the bedside table because it seems to be the only position he knows and he’s not adventurous/imaginative enough to try something different (you turn into Starfish Girl!). Lack of change is a huge mood killer if you haven’t noticed…. This is why women have so many headaches and why they keep eyeing off the pool boy.

    9. Mr Pimpdaddy-o, he likes you to talk dirty to him – “talk dirty to me baby, tell me how much you like my big……”. He isn’t looking for instruction on improving his barely adequate ability, he wants you to make him feel big and like he’s the best you’ve ever had. Seriously? I’m too busy ensuring my own orgasm to add to yours with dirty talk, because you are too inept/lazy/selfish to get me there and now you want me to heighten yours? Not likely princess. Killing my orgasmic concentration = MOOD KILLER.

    10. Mr Rhythm, the most annoying mood killer, the guy that keeps switching tempo’s at the most inappropriate moments! You know that moment when you’ve just reached what could be an awesome orgasm and the motion of the ocean changes. Probably because you’ve become too quiet or he thinks something is wrong or maybe you look like you are about to fart, but for what ever reason he’s gone and changed the motion. MOOD AND ORGASM KILLER!

    So Dave I guess you now know why some women are “starfish girls” at times or it feels like they’re “waiting for the experience to be over” (see number 8) 😉

    The talkers or “overly attentive” you’ve met probably have been with number 3 and 9 a few too many times or are turned on by dirty talk.

    Really if you are coming across anyone who is a mood killer by this stage in your life you need to stop talking about sex with the wrong girls (those would be the ones you aren’t dating) and talk about sex with the right girls (the ones you ARE dating). You could avoid all kinds of mood killers then. 😀

    Well hope this isn’t too long of an essay and that you don’t get too bored reading it all!


    • Summantra

      Emma G – you go girl – I could not have worded a response any better than you did. You nailed it! 🙂

      • Emma G

        Thanks Summantra 🙂

        • Jean FV Wildcat

          Way to go ladies. See how much women can accomplishe when we stick together and speak the truth to men and stand tall. It is so often that articles are written to make women feel that we are the failures in our relationships when in fact these men Re just to blame as ich as women.

          Guess what guys, you all are the real culprits and you all turn us off more often . The mood is most often killed because you have big egos and little penises and can’t really satisfy your woman.
          This is why most women avoid sex with their men. Men do not know that the have to satisfy their woman and stroking is not what satisfies a woman. 10-6-14

    • Patia Lincow

      I was look for pictures next photos album found this about sex moods I am very interested with this topic many times I have boyfriend who like other but I like different and fun I look at your picture too very handsome pictures how old? Now i 31.I only not like your other writing what you like for your ideal woman your stories some not my type That not nice I show to my sister who read and she say same like me very rude some of them Maybe why no one marry you now x you got no woman? Pictures good story is good but I look next time ciao! Xxx

  • MB

    Wow, I found some of the comments made here quite overbearing (by the last commenter, that is – the article was funny imo). She did make a few good points, but I didn’t like the apparent condescending tone.

    People have different sex styles, which means some prefer raw, physical contact, no talking (communication predominantly thru body language), lots of touching & stroking, perhaps some pinching/biting/light scratching and/or smacking, then there’s those who need verbal stimulation; e.g. dirty talk, compliments, instructions (so as to not feel incompetent and doing something right) etc, … and then there’s body rhythm…

    It’s imperative to find out about these things before getting involved (too deeply).

    It’s one thing to have a preference and be turned off, but overly criticizing and not communicating these issues or even try to understand the other person is not exactly helping men (or women) either.

    • Emma G

      No condescending tone, a lot of tongue-in-cheek and smart arse remarks, but certainly no condescension. 🙂 But some people obviously have to know me to get my sense of humor, it isn’t to everyone’s tastes. I certainly don’t feel that I am above anyone else, in fact being on top isn’t my preferred position at all! 🙂

      And my post pointed out what are my mood killers, as was requested at the end of Dave’s blog.

      And I agree with you, everyone’s sexual preferences are different, if they weren’t how boring would sex be!