10 Qualities I’ll Bring To A Relationship 3

10 Qualities I’ll Bring To A Relationship

A friend recently challenged me with, “I’d be interested in a list of what 10 important/marketable things you think you bring to the table.”


Let me start by asking for a show of hands. You’ve read mine and/or written your own, “10 Things I’m Looking For In A Woman” (or in a man).


Instead of listing what you’re looking for, how about what you have to offer?


The Trap We Fall Into

Qualities I'll Bring To A RelationshipIt’s a really good suggestion because I saw I fell into that trap of knowing what I want, but not highlighting why a potential woman should pick me.


Even in online dating profiles, everyone writes what they want in a partner, or their partner’s ideal traits.


How often do you see a section asking people what they have to offer or people marketing the traits and qualities they would bring to a relationship?


Yeah, it’s rare.


Are you guilty too?


The first step to resolving an issue is acknowledging it. So let’s get to work.


Setting The Trend

I had a think over the weekend. It’s not as easy as it sounds because remember, it has to be what you will bring to the relationship, not who you are personally. Therefore, they shouldn’t begin with phrases like “I am”, or “I have”.


With that in mind, here are 10 qualities and traits I bring to a relationship (in no particular order):

  1. A sense of fun, playfulness, and adventure including doing unusual, even semi-dangerous things.

  3. Consideration. I will respect her time, her space, and do things or favors without being asked.

    10 Qualities I'll Bring To A Relationship

    Special Birthday Flowers I Sent My Mom


  5. Passion. Physical affection. Sexual responsiveness. I consider myself a sensual, attentive lover who loves to caress, massage, and cuddle, hopefully keeping her flames and desires for me, and intimate time with me, burning.

  7. A sharing of responsibilities like paying bills and chores. Am I domesticated? Metro-sexual? Well rounded? I’m not sure what you would call it, as I’m a guy who knows brands like “Laura Ashley”, buys high thread count bed sheets, irons with a special Teflon coated iron, uses a Dyson vacuum, enjoys baking foods like muffins and brownies (even have YouTube videos showing people how to do it), does my own service on my cars (change oil, etc), and constructs gardens.

  9. Dependability, reliability, responsibility. I have always followed through with what I say I will. If I say I will be somewhere or will do something, I will.

  11. Respect. I will ride with her and value her opinions. This does not mean I will agree with every move she makes or everything she says, but I will defend and not allow anyone externally to speak ill of her.

  13. Humor. Laughter. I try to keep things upbeat and positive. I can laugh at myself and life’s foibles. It’s essential, and will be even more so when we decide to spend our lives together.

  15. A strong sense of family, family values. I have never forgotten a birthday/anniversary and think spending time with family is important.

  17. Patience and tolerance. But I have enough self-respect to not let people cross that invisible line.

  19. Stopping to smell the roses along the way. So many people speak of it, but how many times are you with someone who actually makes you do it? Yes, we’ll have a destination we’ll be working towards, but it’s also important to make time to appreciate the journey too.

And the bonus for my faithful readers because I couldn’t choose just 10 from my list:

  1. A sense of balance between predictability and being randomly spontaneous, to keep things fresh, engaging, exciting.

I actually have a few more, but those resonated with me the most. Do you think it helps or hinders my chances of finding love?


What’s On Your List?

Leave your comment (you can even do so anonymously!) and let us know. 🙂


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  • Asha

    I think it’s a good idea to have a sense of self worth, which this list reflects. I think it’s also good to reflect what isn’t on the list and what you can get better at. That being said, my list is as follows:

    1. I have a servant’s heart. Taking care of people who I care about brings me fulfillment. Whether that be taking out the trash, making his lunch, or running the shower for him while he wakes up; I enjoy doing what I can to make his life easier.

    2. I am a great hostess. I love to entertain and cook up a big meal and provide a clean, comfortable place to connect with friends.

    3. Like many other young women with an active libido, I like to enjoy a healthy, active, monogamous sex life. I love to give as much as I like to receive.

    4. Trust and Honesty. I think those speak for themselves.

    5. Fun. I used to take life so seriously and I have learned as I get older to just have FUN and enjoy life.

    6. Firm work ethic. There’s nothing more irritating than a lazy bum who gets paid for looking like they’re working, and this is something I really take pride in. I work hard and I get acknowledged for it.

    7. I can be a guys girl. Want to throw a superbowl party? Lets do it. Want to join a pickup soccer game? Can’t promise I will be good, but I will try. Impromptu invitation to the local bar? Give me 15-30 minutes to get ready.

    8. I am simple. I’m a cheap date. It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy. We can sit next to each other and read books all Sunday afternoon and I would be happy. As long as I get to spend quality time with him.

    I honestly cannot think of anymore at the moment. Tooting my own horn is painful sometimes as I don’t like to call too much attention to myself.

    • Bernard Ofori

      can i get your number. you are exactly the type of women i want in my life lol

  • mystery girl

    1. Honesty, though in my case probably way to much honesty

    2. Creativity

    3. Decisiveness and determination, the flip side of this will manifest as stubbornness (in some cases extreme stubbornness)

    4. Fidelity, granted I’m not sure I should be listing this one because I consider a lack of this one to be so immoral the idea that this isn’t in the goes without saying category is utterly disgusting to me (refer to number one trait), and unfortunately this one would also a flip side to severe social awkwardness even if my morality would all not to be on there

    5. By the way you know all those movies that no guy actually wants to get stuck
    having to go see with his girlfriend or wife but he does anyway because he’s
    still hoping to get her naked at some point in the future…I don’t even like them

    6. I’m unusually territorial and it goes both ways, which means that while my man and I would need to be completely up front with one another about who’s space is who’s the only way I’ll stop respecting his if he starts walking into mine without my explicate permission

    Everything else I can list here is basically variations on this, since I never have and never will have sex outside of marriage and I’ve never been married I’m not so sure I should list anything about that. With me the sad truth is I’ve spent my whole life being nothing but bad things about myself and I still won’t drop my standards low enough to accept beating and cheating and other forms of abuse and wrong doing, despite so many people saying I’ll be lucky if I ever deserve even that from a man. I’ve got medical issues that mean the only traditional duty of a wife I will ever preform is in the bedroom, and I don’t mean hanging up the cloths in the closet, and I have yet to get my career to a place where I can be anything other than a liability. Entertaining or being a plus one anywhere…forget it.

    A list that’s universal or even general stops where I already did.

    If I wanted to write this as though I’ve got my favorite TV show character crush (who I know is out of my league) in mind here it is:

    7. I’m a total geek, which makes taking an interest in his work very easy, and even have the smarts to understand it if he’ll take the time to explain it

    8. The line of work I’ve chosen is something that can allow me to travel without having to change jobs or experience massive interruption to my career as long as I’ve got a good internet connection, which means I can move with him over the course of his career

    9. I like animals, and as long as we can take proper care of it, and handle it being around us and the animals I expect to have safely, exotic or unusual mammalian pets are can be an option with me

    10. In his case because of possible sterility, and the line of work he’s in the fact that I don’t want kids would probably be considered a plus where most guys would call it a bad thing

    Unfortunately I don’t have any positive traits that aren’t massively overshadowed by a negative flip side.