10 Qualities I’ll Bring To A Relationship
A friend recently challenged me with, “I’d be interested in a list of what 10 important/marketable things you think you bring to the table.”
Let me start by asking for a show of hands. You’ve read mine and/or written your own, “10 Things I’m Looking For In A Woman” (or in a man).
Instead of listing what you’re looking for, how about what you have to offer?
The Trap We Fall Into
It’s a really good suggestion because I saw I fell into that trap of knowing what I want, but not highlighting why a potential woman should pick me.
Even in online dating profiles, everyone writes what they want in a partner, or their partner’s ideal traits.
How often do you see a section asking people what they have to offer or people marketing the traits and qualities they would bring to a relationship?
Yeah, it’s rare.
Are you guilty too?
The first step to resolving an issue is acknowledging it. So let’s get to work.
Setting The Trend
I had a think over the weekend. It’s not as easy as it sounds because remember, it has to be what you will bring to the relationship, not who you are personally. Therefore, they shouldn’t begin with phrases like “I am”, or “I have”.
With that in mind, here are 10 qualities and traits I bring to a relationship (in no particular order):
- A sense of fun, playfulness, and adventure including doing unusual, even semi-dangerous things.
- Consideration. I will respect her time, her space, and do things or favors without being asked.
- Passion. Physical affection. Sexual responsiveness. I consider myself a sensual, attentive lover who loves to caress, massage, and cuddle, hopefully keeping her flames and desires for me, and intimate time with me, burning.
- A sharing of responsibilities like paying bills and chores. Am I domesticated? Metro-sexual? Well rounded? I’m not sure what you would call it, as I’m a guy who knows brands like “Laura Ashley”, buys high thread count bed sheets, irons with a special Teflon coated iron, uses a Dyson vacuum, enjoys baking foods like muffins and brownies (even have YouTube videos showing people how to do it), does my own service on my cars (change oil, etc), and constructs gardens.
- Dependability, reliability, responsibility. I have always followed through with what I say I will. If I say I will be somewhere or will do something, I will.
- Respect. I will ride with her and value her opinions. This does not mean I will agree with every move she makes or everything she says, but I will defend and not allow anyone externally to speak ill of her.
- Humor. Laughter. I try to keep things upbeat and positive. I can laugh at myself and life’s foibles. It’s essential, and will be even more so when we decide to spend our lives together.
- A strong sense of family, family values. I have never forgotten a birthday/anniversary and think spending time with family is important.
- Patience and tolerance. But I have enough self-respect to not let people cross that invisible line.
- Stopping to smell the roses along the way. So many people speak of it, but how many times are you with someone who actually makes you do it? Yes, we’ll have a destination we’ll be working towards, but it’s also important to make time to appreciate the journey too.
And the bonus for my faithful readers because I couldn’t choose just 10 from my list:
- A sense of balance between predictability and being randomly spontaneous, to keep things fresh, engaging, exciting.
I actually have a few more, but those resonated with me the most. Do you think it helps or hinders my chances of finding love?
What’s On Your List?
Leave your comment (you can even do so anonymously!) and let us know. 🙂