Sexism – Men Are Victims Too
Believe it or not when it comes to sexism – men are victims too. Most of it goes unnoticed because men don’t have a “masculinist” movement like the feminists do, but it’s there. The type of sexism I speak of most men have experienced, and I believe the majority of women are guilty for doing it. It’s the type of sexism that places expectations on men that are generally related to “traditional gender roles”.
Ladies who are partnered up or have a man in your life, let me ask you this: how many of you have conveniently ignored:
- doing the yard work
- a warning light in your car
- a leaky faucet
- or a blown out light bulb
instead waiting for your man to take care of it?
I believe most women expect their man to start up the lawn mower, look at the car or take it to the shop, break out the wrenches and crawl under the sink, or change the bulb because… no surprise here… he’s a man.
And that’s a man’s job right?
Men inherently fix stuff.
There could be absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, stopping a woman from cutting the grass, or inspecting the car, or trying to tighten up the faucet, or changing the light bulb herself.
Nothing, that is, except a buy-in to harmful gender stereotypes. Okay, and maybe if you just had your nails done or have to place a ladder in that ultra weird position to be able to reach the bulb, but those really aren’t an excuse are they?
Because again, why should that fall back onto the man?
What if the oil light comes on in the car? How many tales have we heard of wives who continue driving the car, waiting for their man to notice the light and do something about it?
What’s preventing the woman from doing it?
Stereotypes give people conscious, subconscious, and unconscious expectations about how men and women “should” behave, or the roles they should play.
Stereotypes have a lot to answer for.
While I think most couples do lots of tasks around the home and family unit that are gender-bending, it’s not uncommon that women make the decision to ignore that particular oil indicator or light bulb.
Such situations should teach us the lesson that we have to fight subconscious sexism more consciously.
We all do.
Everyone, myself included, is learning what personal responsibility toward the principles of genuine equality requires.
If a woman expects me to change a light bulb, fix the oil light in the car, or stop the faucet from leaking, how is that any different from me expecting her to vacuum the house, do my laundry, or cook me fresh meals?
The point I’m trying to make is sexism against women is not the only type of sexism that exists. There is sexism against men too. It places unfair expectations on the male half of the population.
I wouldn’t expect my woman to always do the vacuuming. Nor would I expect her to be the one who’s supposed wash my clothes. Certainly I would appreciate it and hopefully let her know in so many ways, but I wouldn’t expect it.
The irony of it all is she might expect herself to be the one who does the vacuuming or laundry, and that’s still part of the same problem. It means she’s bought into the gender stereotype, consciously or otherwise, that it’s her “job” when it’s really not.
It is up to us, men and women alike, to question the stereotypes that play out in our homes and every day situations
After reading this, I hope ladies realize that saying something like, “Hey honey, have you noticed the oil light came on in our car?” is sexist against your man. It says that you expect your man to be able, willing to, and capable of fixing it. Instead, “Hey honey, the oil light came on, I had a look, and topped up the oil.”
But remember ladies, you need to realize that if you fix it yourself and expect some bru-ha-ha special treatment, it makes yourself no different to the man who proudly announces that he made the bed and washed the dirty dishes for you.
In both cases, no more than a whoop-de-doo is in order. Although maybe you might treat each other to a sensual massage to ease your muscle pains from such accomplishments. 😉
But seriously, men and women alike should not expect equality in relationships or society until we start embracing non-traditional gender roles.
When there are things to be done, our sex should not automatically determine who does what.
What do you think? How do you overcome “sexism” in your personal relationships?